Sssshhhh...Quiet
A few weeks ago, I watched the TED talk about the power of introverts. Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts,
once again reminds us that diversity is broad and includes personality.
What I'm particularly interested in is how being quiet is misconstrued
as being passive or uninterested.
In a society that values initiative, energetic personal expression and quick thinking, it's hard for us quiet ones to get a word in edgewise even when our words can be powerful and profound. Just give me some time to think then I'll speak in my own quiet and understated way.
Then add to it my being Asian-American which people stereotype as being passive and lacking expression. Now, some of it does come from a cultural value that showing anger or sadness means lack of control, rudeness and embarrassment to self and others. This is what is often described as "losing face."
So it's a double dilemma for me who is both Asian and an introvert, and have to work extra hard to not be misunderstood by others no matter who they are. In fact I've had other Asians tell me I'm shaming them because I seem express myself too much as well as non-Asians who don't seem accept what I say because they simply don't expect someone with my kind of face speaking up. How often have I heard, "Oh, you mean you didn't say anything?" Well, I did but you didn't listen to me. I'm the invisible minority as they say.
So next time when you are in a position to hire or appoint someone, consider how diverse your team will be when in comes to personality and expression. You may be surprised how much you'll hear when you have to lean in to listen.
In a society that values initiative, energetic personal expression and quick thinking, it's hard for us quiet ones to get a word in edgewise even when our words can be powerful and profound. Just give me some time to think then I'll speak in my own quiet and understated way.
Then add to it my being Asian-American which people stereotype as being passive and lacking expression. Now, some of it does come from a cultural value that showing anger or sadness means lack of control, rudeness and embarrassment to self and others. This is what is often described as "losing face."
So it's a double dilemma for me who is both Asian and an introvert, and have to work extra hard to not be misunderstood by others no matter who they are. In fact I've had other Asians tell me I'm shaming them because I seem express myself too much as well as non-Asians who don't seem accept what I say because they simply don't expect someone with my kind of face speaking up. How often have I heard, "Oh, you mean you didn't say anything?" Well, I did but you didn't listen to me. I'm the invisible minority as they say.
So next time when you are in a position to hire or appoint someone, consider how diverse your team will be when in comes to personality and expression. You may be surprised how much you'll hear when you have to lean in to listen.
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