The View From Here

Last night I went to get my monthly massage, which was especially soothing after shoveling snow for nearly two hours earlier in the day.  As you can imagine, I was so looking forward to being in a quiet space and allow a skilled masseuse to knead away the knots in my shoulders, back and neck. Imagine my consternation when the massage therapist upon hearing my last name began to speak an Asian foreign language to me. "OMG, really?" I thought and "Not again. Damn!"  Even if he spoke my family language which is Cantonese Chinese, I still wouldn't understood a word he said. I actually had to ask him what he was saying to me and he proceeded to say he was speaking Korean as he presumed my last name was Korean. Okay, so I get that person may presume some things based on a last name but let's be honest. Would he begin speaking Italian to a client whose name was Bellini or Gaelic to someone who was O'Hara? I will bet all the money in the world that he would

I(Note: I wrote this from a previous blog posting for another blog moderated by Dr. Omedi Ochieng.) From https://amongtheevangelicals.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/slouching-towards-apartheid/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog : Slouching Towards Apartheid The magic number is 2050. In 2050 the demographics in the U.S. will change dramatically from being majority White to majority people of color. In fact I’ve heard it many times over that 1 out of 2 U.S. Americans in 2050 will trace their ancestry to either being Hispanic or Asian. The truth is that some states have already seen a major change and most particularly California. Now, I’ve also heard as a result of this change that racism will come to a halt. Some say it’s out of pure practicality and others say it’s just inevitable. Yet I’m not convinced of either sentiment especially since the power brokers in the US continue to be White, Non-Hispanic and male. In fact our nation may very well go the way of Apartheid South Africa if

The other day my boyfriend and I were driving through his town in New Jersey and we noticed that the car in front of us had a sticker of the Italy flag.  He remarked that if it was a flag of Mexico that the person in the car would be considered probably undocumented or at least not a "true" American, i.e. one who is assimilated into Whiteness.  I can't help but agree with him on his comment.  If one has a flag that is of European origin then it must mean that the person is proud of his/her roots and ethnic heritage.  And that's seen as acceptable.  Even if the person spoke the language of those roots, s/he still wouldn't get the same kind of denigration for a person of certain backgrounds that's deemed as potentially "illegal" or certainly shameful.

Today I had an "aha" moment. A moment of recognition that I wasn't the only one; thus it's not about me.  An earlier post I wrote about a supervisor and today I discovered that this supervisor got chewed out as well.  Meaning that sometimes what I get from others may be a result of their previous experiences that has shaped their attitude and approach.  That doesn't mean we excuse people for bad behavior yet uncovering an explanation can be helpful in my attitude and approach. Rather than allow crap to flow down to the next person, maybe it's better to have it end with me and just flush it away and move on.

Although I've written about this before I had to comment again about my observation of how very White (and elderly) is the audience for theatre or at least theatre in Rhode Island. The other day I went to see a play at the Gamm theatre and I was able to count on one hand the number of people of color in the audience.  Of course we know that race is a complex concept and reality so one can't necessarily see color based on the categories created in the US through law and imagination. Then add to it that Hispanic is not considered a race category but ethnicity per the US government or the fact that last names can belie a person's background as well as those who are multiracial and defy categorization altogether. Barring all this, one can't deny how very White it is in the audiences of theatre as well as on stage among the actors. I'm beginning to think I need to attend productions that support more diversity as much as I love the Gamm and other theatres in the area. 

Every day I receive a meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society to reflect upon. Nearly a week ago there was one about gratitude  but really, it was more about being grateful for the things that don't go well in our lives, my life.  Although this is not a new idea for me as a person who believes in the idea and reality of redemption, i.e. turning bad stuff into a meaningful stuff, it seemed apropos to have received this a few days before returning to my job for the semester. As you know, I wrote about how my supervisor told me I wasn't doing a good job and how it sucked for me to hear that; but more than that it was hearing her criticism in such a way that made me feel denigrated.  After some reflection I'm recognizing some of the good that's coming from the job and to even be grateful.  This has definitely helped my attitude towards the work I had to do last week and will continue doing this semester. This is of course not to say that anyone should put up with abusi

Okay, did anyone notice how White the academic award nominees are for this year?  Apparently I wasn't the only one per Huffington Post . When I see this I'm both saddened and not surprised at the same time.  It baffles me that many will continue to maintain we are in a post-racial society when race (and gender and so on) continue to play out in the most powerful institutions in the U.S. -- Hollywood, Business, Government and Education.  The stats are there to reinforce the reality of little to no representation and the continued bias and discrimination that exists at all levels. Thinking it's time for to stop going to the movies until things begin to change. It's a miniscule step but it's a step nonetheless.

Tonight I went to the local supermarket and as I was having my food scanned, I observed an interesting interaction between the cashier and a customer.  The customer was inquiring about the cashier's name then declared that it was a good "African" name.  Now, you have to know that this is coming from an older African gentleman speaking to a person who has dark skin.  She proceeded to tell him in a diplomatic way that she was neither African nor her name. Yet he continued to state that her name sounded "African" and that it was a compliment to her by stating so. As the cashier was scanning my items, she began to share some of her feelings with me and let me know that she was half Indian and that her name was actually made up by her parents; thus no African origin at all.  I told her how often people presume I'm a foreigner because of how I look when in fact my family has been here since the 40s and I was born and bred in the US. This brief encounter remind

Okay, so this morning I went to get the mail and guess what? My AARP card finally arrived. For those who are not in the know, AARP = A merican A ssociation for R etired P ersons. Even though I still have another 20 years of work ahead of me I figured I might as well as enjoy the benefits of being older.  Yes, benefits, which are (in my mind): Really not caring what other people think when it comes to my body, my choices, and my preferences. Giving in to the necessity to be moderate in exercising rather than intense workouts that tend to cause me soreness and even pain. Appreciating more and more my boyfriend who is 12 years my junior. Not feeling the need to get married - ever. Having longer hair even as I'm losing some of it. Re-inventing myself by returning to graduate school for a new vocation. Discounts! Wearing sunblock because I want to reduce my chances for skin cancer and not wrinkles. Releasing people in my life who make little to no effort to nurture our frie

It's hard to believe but I'm actually googling "menopause" these days. And why? Well, I finally realized that perhaps there was a reason for the combination of symptoms that included heat flushes, hair loss, difficulty sleeping, belly and upper arm fat(ter), and so on.  At first I thought that some of this especially my weight re-distribution was because I wasn't working out hard enough or not eating enough veggies.  This realization reminded me how often as women we blame our health issues on our inability to do things whether it's exercise, maintain a healthy weight, eat my veggies, etc. Yet the reality is that whatever that may be ailing me could be out of my control and can well be just part of life. Of course it doesn't mean slacking off from doing what is healthier. Then I read an article by a menopausal woman who said she hasn't eaten a carb since 2009 because of the pressure to have a flat belly. Really? Frankly I've chosen a long time to

Last weekend I visited friends in Washington DC, which, by the way, has become one of my favorite cities.  One of my goals was to see the MLK Memorial along the tidal basin across from the Jefferson Memorial.  So, on a warm and even humid Sunday morning I made my way to the memorial. While walking along the path, I heard different languages and saw individuals, couples and families of all backgrounds.  It doesn't surprise me considering how DC is the seat of power in the United States as well as all the remarkable monuments and museums that were free to attend. What was and is always interesting to me that people take it for granted in a good way that this is how it is, i.e. to be surrounded by diverse people and that there is no threat or fear because someone is different.  This is particularly important considering all that has happened in Paris in the last 48 hours with the terrorist attacks in the city.  Too often we are quick to blame an entire people for the violent acts of