Familiar and Foreign
Last weekend I was in upstate New York and the lilacs
were in bloom. I couldn't help but stop by a tree and inhale the subtle
sweet scent that reminded me of childhood, early summer days and
playing kick-the-can with my neighborhood friends. Smelling the lilac flowers evoked such a strong memory
of a deep familiarity that it actually affected my feelings. Suddenly I
felt comfortable, calm and at peace. It reminded me of how free and
unencumbered I felt when I was eight years old.
It's a reminder how important it is to have what's familiar to ground us so we may be able to navigate what is so foreign to us. An example is when I was in China and how happy I was to eat at a KFC simply because it was familiar and what I needed as I grappled with culture shock. In truth you wouldn't catch me eating instant mashed potatoes but in that moment of mental and emotional stress, it was as close as I could get to what felt like home.
Another example is how students of a common background due to identity or life situation have a need and desire to come together for support and encouragement. It's in these spaces that students have an opportunity to breathe and take stock of what's around them then be able to go out with greater confidence and commitment.
Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum, president of Spelman College, wrote the seminal book "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" who noted the value of students coming together to relax with one another however those groupings are created. Rather than call it "self-segregation" or "balkanization," let's recognize that we never use those terms for those in the majority and that we all find ourselves in groups of people who are like ourselves.
In all this I believe that we can have and do both - to enjoy what's familiar and engage with what's foreign. In time we may discover how that switches up sometimes. Like I said lilacs remind me of my childhood home but when I go back there, it's never quite like what it was when I was eight. The familiar has become foreign once again.
It's a reminder how important it is to have what's familiar to ground us so we may be able to navigate what is so foreign to us. An example is when I was in China and how happy I was to eat at a KFC simply because it was familiar and what I needed as I grappled with culture shock. In truth you wouldn't catch me eating instant mashed potatoes but in that moment of mental and emotional stress, it was as close as I could get to what felt like home.
Another example is how students of a common background due to identity or life situation have a need and desire to come together for support and encouragement. It's in these spaces that students have an opportunity to breathe and take stock of what's around them then be able to go out with greater confidence and commitment.
Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum, president of Spelman College, wrote the seminal book "Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?" who noted the value of students coming together to relax with one another however those groupings are created. Rather than call it "self-segregation" or "balkanization," let's recognize that we never use those terms for those in the majority and that we all find ourselves in groups of people who are like ourselves.
In all this I believe that we can have and do both - to enjoy what's familiar and engage with what's foreign. In time we may discover how that switches up sometimes. Like I said lilacs remind me of my childhood home but when I go back there, it's never quite like what it was when I was eight. The familiar has become foreign once again.
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