Who Gets to Say It?

Over pancakes and eggs, me and my BF had a conversation about the use of language and who gets to use what words, is there a double standard and even if I could use a charged word like the "N" word in a legit context, should I? Then there were musings and questions about assimilation and acculturation, and what would I have preferred growing up? Pretty intense for a morning chat; however it's pretty typical for us as two people who work within a university setting - him as a professor and me as a counselor.

Soon enough, my feelings got in the way of my thinking rationally or being empathetic as I began to go from conversing to arguing with my BF of nearly 14 years. You'd think we would know (or at least me) by now to not walk into this quagmire of talking about race, language, privilege, and power.

What was both interesting and disturbing to me is that how my emotions are still just right under the surface when it comes to diversity, racism, Whiteness, power, and privilege. In fact, one of the reasons  I left this work of diversity and inclusion is because of feeling riled up then discouraged then sad and finally just tired.

Again, I'm reminded that this work of diversity is so important to me but,  I'm also reminded of how perhaps there are better ways to listen and engage that allow me to be passionate AND centered. That'll be my mission for the year...

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