I'm Really the Only One: From Discouragement to Hopefulness

Last night I attended the first class for my internship course. At the start of the class, we all meet as a large group then split into our individual groups with our faculty supervisor. Now, more often than not I don't think too much about being the only person of color in a class (or at least what I'm able to discern) or in a smaller group setting. By now I've gotten used to that experience having grown up in a majority White suburb west of Boston and worked at majority White companies and colleges for the past 30 years.

However...I always find myself taken off guard in settings like last night's large group gathering for which I am truly the Only One among forty students in their last year of graduate studies with all White faculty. I must admit that I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and had to gather myself to stay focused. It didn't help that some of my classmates described a diversity exercise they experienced as being "racist." I know that exercise well having done it myself and have been a facilitator, and as much as I know that their response is a common one I felt disheartened, quite discouraged and in some ways even felt emotionally vulnerable.

During my morning swim, I processed what I heard and experienced last night and realized the following:
  • It takes time for people to recognize their privilege in all forms whether it's due to race, class, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, etc. etc. 
  • It's hard to realize that all is not right with the world and one's worldview is upended. It wasn't until I was in my mid-30's that I recognized the reality of race and racism.
  • I have taught students in the past who really cared about diversity and racial justice, and they were White and male.
  • There are allies in this work for justice for all.
  • The ACA Code of Ethics, CACREP standards and Licensure requirements expect and in fact demand cultural competence for mental health counselors (at least there are systemic expectations).
  • I'm on the right side of history considering all that's happening in the US and around the world.
  • Increases my empathy for all those who feel they're the only ones whether it's due to identity, life situation or mental health struggles.
So, in the end, I was able to step into a little more hopefulness on this day.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Institutional Racism and Higher Education

Image
There's so much happening that it's hard to start, as it has been two years since I've written. From March 2020 to June 2020, much of the US (and the world) was shut down to the COVID-19 pandemic. It's strange to read my past postings and to find myself here - isolated most of the time and hesitant to leave the confines of my home due to this highly contagious virus which to date has killed over 500,000 and has infected over 14 million , and disproportionately impacted BIPOC . Then in May, our nation was roiled once again in racial violence with the murder of George Floyd by police officers in Minnesota. As a result, many companies, organizations, and institutions published statements of support and a commitment to change. What's disheartening is that the murders of Black men, women, boys and girls have been happening for time out of mind, and in recent memory have been viewed and heard in social media for at least a decade. Four years ago I walked i
Read more

Lost & Found

This morning I had an argument with my BF and it did not go well. No surprise. Also no surprise that the argument started at point A and ended up at point Z or what I'd call "planet mars." My poor BF, he had no idea what hit him (metaphorically of course) but neither did I. By the end of the argument, I found myself standing alone in the middle of the living room with tears threatening to stream from my eyes, and eventually they did. The feelings that arose were a powerful potion of regret, anger, sadness and perplexity as to my teaching experience in China in 92-93. As some people know, I was interrogated in China in 1993 and my visa was unexpectedly cancelled because I allegedly broke the law. Later, Chinese officials admitted that they "may have made a mistake" which is pretty much an outright confession for having done something wrong and being sorry for it. For years I always believed that what I set out to do in China came out of a sincere desire to
Read more

Split and Stereotyping

Image
***This posting has spoilers for the film "Split"*** Last weekend I went to see the film " Split ", which is about disassociative identity disorder  (DID) or is still commonly known as multiple personality disorder. For many of us, we think of the book " Sybil " back in the 70s then later the film featuring Sally Field as the client, Sybil. However, interestingly, the client admitted years later that she faked her diagnosis .  Although DID as a diagnosis is fairly uncommon although the  phenomena of disassociating  is more common that we think due to stress, trauma or even illness. As I watched the film, it was clear to me that there was a significant amount of stereotyping to depict the different identities such as "Barry" who liked to design clothes and had an affect that would be stereotyped as "gay." Another is that the film was reinforcing the belief that mental illness is over-the-top and beyond repair. Also that mental illn
Read more