The View From Here

This morning I read this article titled " Anti-Asian Harassment Is Surging. Can Ads and Hashtags Help? With more than 2,000 incidents and little action from the federal government, efforts to curtail pandemic-related racism have fallen to P.S.A.s and social media campaigns ." I am livid. I am afraid. When this began back in March (and still in a recent tweet) with the words of the current US president calling COVID-19 the "China Virus," I was more worried about being harassed and possibly harmed due to my being AAPI than I was contracting the virus. When I brought this up during an on-line gathering at my current workplace, not one person offered a word of comfort and not one person followed up with an email saying, "Hey, I heard what you said and I'm so sorry..." When colleges and universities like to tout that they are a "family" and a "community," they forget that there are those of us that have not been welcomed in...

There's so much happening that it's hard to start, as it has been two years since I've written. From March 2020 to June 2020, much of the US (and the world) was shut down to the COVID-19 pandemic. It's strange to read my past postings and to find myself here - isolated most of the time and hesitant to leave the confines of my home due to this highly contagious virus which to date has killed over 500,000 and has infected over 14 million , and disproportionately impacted BIPOC . Then in May, our nation was roiled once again in racial violence with the murder of George Floyd by police officers in Minnesota. As a result, many companies, organizations, and institutions published statements of support and a commitment to change. What's disheartening is that the murders of Black men, women, boys and girls have been happening for time out of mind, and in recent memory have been viewed and heard in social media for at least a decade. Four years ago I walked i...

This morning I had an argument with my BF and it did not go well. No surprise. Also no surprise that the argument started at point A and ended up at point Z or what I'd call "planet mars." My poor BF, he had no idea what hit him (metaphorically of course) but neither did I. By the end of the argument, I found myself standing alone in the middle of the living room with tears threatening to stream from my eyes, and eventually they did. The feelings that arose were a powerful potion of regret, anger, sadness and perplexity as to my teaching experience in China in 92-93. As some people know, I was interrogated in China in 1993 and my visa was unexpectedly cancelled because I allegedly broke the law. Later, Chinese officials admitted that they "may have made a mistake" which is pretty much an outright confession for having done something wrong and being sorry for it. For years I always believed that what I set out to do in China came out of a sincere desire to...

Over pancakes and eggs, me and my BF had a conversation about the use of language and who gets to use what words, is there a double standard and even if I could use a charged word like the "N" word in a legit context, should I? Then there were musings and questions about assimilation and acculturation, and what would I have preferred growing up? Pretty intense for a morning chat; however it's pretty typical for us as two people who work within a university setting - him as a professor and me as a counselor. Soon enough, my feelings got in the way of my thinking rationally or being empathetic as I began to go from conversing to arguing with my BF of nearly 14 years. You'd think we would know (or at least me) by now to not walk into this quagmire of talking about race, language, privilege, and power. What was both interesting and disturbing to me is that how my emotions are still just right under the surface when it comes to diversity, racism, Whiteness, power, and ...

***This posting has spoilers for the film "Split"*** Last weekend I went to see the film " Split ", which is about disassociative identity disorder  (DID) or is still commonly known as multiple personality disorder. For many of us, we think of the book " Sybil " back in the 70s then later the film featuring Sally Field as the client, Sybil. However, interestingly, the client admitted years later that she faked her diagnosis .  Although DID as a diagnosis is fairly uncommon although the  phenomena of disassociating  is more common that we think due to stress, trauma or even illness. As I watched the film, it was clear to me that there was a significant amount of stereotyping to depict the different identities such as "Barry" who liked to design clothes and had an affect that would be stereotyped as "gay." Another is that the film was reinforcing the belief that mental illness is over-the-top and beyond repair. Also that mental illn...

Hope is the only thing that sustains me, and it is a hope that is grounded in my Christian faith. So while everyday I read about the dumb and dangerous acts and words of our president-elect and his cabinet, I also learn of people who give me hope. A recent story lifted my spirits because it was about Christians unlike some evangelicals who supported the president-elect (can we say mostly middle-aged and old White men?), these are followers of Jesus Christ who in their small way were going to welcome the stranger and the marginalized the way Jesus did. Learn more about their story on NPR .

Well, it has been over a month since the U.S. election and what was impossible became reality. I can't even write the name of the president-elect as I'm still incredulous about the results. However it wasn't unforeseen as I recall a friend of mine from Kenya in his usual prescient way that he thought the Republican nominee may actually win the election. He implored that me (and others like me) as a U.S. American to be the vanguard of the democracy of the nation of my birth. I voted. We lost. It took a couple of weeks for me to get my bearings and to begin to apply the principles of acceptance and mindfulness to my own distress. I also took hold of the concept of Radical Acceptance  that comes from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. It means for me to truly, truly accept the reality of what's happening as awful as it is while also seeking productive change. For me, that change is resistance. Resisting the hatred of those who differ. Resisting the diminishing power...

Last night I attended the first class for my internship course. At the start of the class, we all meet as a large group then split into our individual groups with our faculty supervisor. Now, more often than not I don't think too much about being the only person of color in a class (or at least what I'm able to discern) or in a smaller group setting. By now I've gotten used to that experience having grown up in a majority White suburb west of Boston and worked at majority White companies and colleges for the past 30 years. However...I always find myself taken off guard in settings like last night's large group gathering for which I am truly the Only One among forty students in their last year of graduate studies with all White faculty. I must admit that I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and had to gather myself to stay focused. It didn't help that some of my classmates described a diversity exercise they experienced as being "racist." I know that ex...

As you may have noticed, many of my blog postings are about the issues I have about previous workplaces and their lack of diversity, lack of cultural understanding, institutional racism and willfulness in their White privilege. So much of it was about working through the oppression I experienced in those places, and in so many ways it was necessary for me to do so for my healing. However, most recently, I recognized that my seemingly constant outrage was not helpful in my pursuit for peace of mind. For a long time I equated being passionate to being angry. No doubt there are plenty of times that calls for righteous anger and moral indignation. Yet, I am now choosing to move on and let go even when I know the issues at these institutions are not going away any time soon. All I can do is watch "Rome burn." I wish it could be otherwise but my hope needs to be re-directed in other ways that will actually make a difference. Time to move on....

In the ACA Code of Ethics and the CACREP standards , there is an expectation that counselors are to be trained for cultural competence at some level. Surprisingly and thankfully, they include addressing identity and privilege of the counselor and the effect on clients. Unfortunately, from what I'm hearing from White classmates who have taken the cross-cultural counseling class in my program, these expectations are certainly not being fulfilled. For one student, she talked about how her White privilege was being pushed into her face and how she was very uncomfortable. I'm sorry but I have little sympathy for the fact that she was uncomfortable for a semester three hours a week whereas people of color since childhood have had to live not only with discomfort but danger for being who they based on what they look like. Another student stated that he actually wished his class had more dialogue about race and privilege especially since this was so new to him. However when I delv...

In late March I was on the "L" in Chicago traveling from the airport to the heart of the city for a conference. As I stood near the doorway of the train, I observed the people who were sitting and standing around me. In so many ways the "L" was a microcosm of our society in the U.S. in that I was surrounded by abounding diversity particularly cultural. I saw the same thing when I took the BART in San Francisco, the subway in NYC or even the "T" in Boston. There were exchanges in different languages and the response by those of us listening in? Simple acceptance that's most likely rooted in the reality of difference. I'm guessing many just blocked out what they heard as it's probably commonplace to hear unfamiliar words. People didn't blink if someone came onto the train wearing a hijab or turban. A place like Chicago (or NYC or L.A.) embodies our nation's history (often painful and conflicted) with diversity resulting from decade...

Last night it was interesting to listen to classmates talk about Beyonce's Lemonade especially the controversy about "Becky with the Good Hair." Most went on to say that it was racial stereotyping against White women. As I've stated in this blog before I'm often the only woman of color in the classroom in my program; however most White students don't see me as such. Anyway, all I can think is how little they understood about the history of oppression when it comes to Black women and what is considered ideal beauty in this country. Also there seemed to be lack of knowledge of the stereotyping of Black hair in all sectors of society but certainly in professional workplaces. As always, it's awkward to be the only one (again) and that when White people think no-one is listening, the things they'll say... P.S. The Daily Beast had a good posting about Iggy Azalea making the same contention. Check it out .

A couple of days ago I was staying at a hotel for a conference in a midwest city that I'd categorize as being pretty diverse and cosmopolitan. However, as I stood at a computer in a guest lounge while wearing my workout clothes and having a sheen a sweat on my face due to my recent treadmill run, one, no, two White older people one after the other (they seemed to be a couple) asked me there were cold drinks in the lounge. You know where this is going... Without giving her much of a glance, I said to her, "I don't work here. I'm a guest." Although she apologized quickly, I was annoyed. Then a moment later, a White older man (I think he was with the woman who just spoke to me) asked me the very same question. WTF. I mean it, I was seething and I said (again with more force), "I DON'T WORK HERE. I'M A GUEST." Most, I imagine, would say what's the big deal? Yet, the day in and day out of experiencing microagressions  or more specifically micr...

I've noticed that there hasn't much attention on the API vote although I read one article this morning abut Rubio stating how the GOP can win back the API vote. I'm guess I'm wondering how they can win back when there doesn't seem much interest about the loss in the first place. Also, whenever racism comes up in debates in both parties, APIs are never brought up as recipients of racism and racial prejudice. When immigration is raised, it is rare to hear how policies will affect immigrants from Asia, Southeast Asia and the Pacific Islands. When jobs are discussed, there is no talk about the "Bamboo" ceiling for API professionals or about the poverty and lack of jobs among some API groups. Much of this I believe can be attributed to APIs (most but certainly not all as APIs are a diverse group of peoples and cultures) being seen as model minorities, i.e. Honorary Whites. Essentially we don't upset the apple cart but when we do, we aren't really tak...

The other night I reconnected with a former student, and what the student proceeded to tell me truly upset me. A few months back the student experienced some difficult mental health issues that led to being hospitalized. Since I wasn't in the therapist's office who heard the student's concerns, I can only judge by what I heard from the student. What was deeply troubling to me is that the student was never asked whether the student understood what was going on and how decisions were being made (and in some ways felt coerced to the student). The student is not White nor US American and not once were the issues or decisions were explored or determined through a multicultural lens. In addition, the student's family was notified in a country and culture for which mental health issues were seen as deeply shameful, and there was no understanding or sensitivity on the part of the administrators who contacted the family and simply dropped the news. Last, the student was t...

Simply put, how can a conference on the liberal arts and social transformation not address the #BlackLivesMatter movement on college campuses across the United States? This is the case at Westmont College with their annual conversation on the liberal arts. This year the theme is " From Inquiry to Impact: Social Transformation through Liberal Learning ." The list of speakers are all White (no surprise). Even though one speaker has diversity and inclusion as an area of expertise, there is no direct reference in the program on addressing how college students of color are part of a social transformation towards what some believe is the second wave of the Civil Rights Movement. In some ways it's sad for me to say that I'm not surprised although always disappointed. It's a reminder of how evangelical Christian colleges are behind the curve when it comes to diversity and social justice.

Happy New Year! It's hard to believe another year has passed and as I get older, it does seem to be passing much faster. Awhile back I read a short article in the Providence Monthly exulting over new leadership for Trinity Rep, the Anthenaeum and Rhode Island NPR . So, is it just me but did anyone notice that all three leaders (although coming from "outside") are White and male? Perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised considering that Rhode Island is majority White and non-Hispanic, and actually increased its number of Whites since 2010 from 80% to 85% . Providence is definitely an anomaly in the Ocean State with people of color outnumbering White Non-Hispanics . However, these institutions are located in the heart of Providence and yet seemed unable to recruit and hire capable and talented women or people of color for these leadership positions. Is there really a dearth of such candidates? No, there isn't but institutions get stuck in the cycle of hiring those ...

The other day a friend of mine posted on social media about all that’s happening at Wheaton College in IL . If you haven’t heard by now, it’s about the supposed conflation of Islam and Christianity by a tenured professor seeking solidarity with Muslims . Although I’m disappointed with the college's response, I’m hardly surprised considering how the institution has gotten into hot water about birth control and having fired a professor who converted to the Catholic faith . Add to it is their football team dressed up in KKK robes for a skit and a LGBT student leader who was attacked with an apple . So, frankly, even as Wheaton College has attempted to address the issues of racism, it is hardly the place for acceptance, understanding or empathy when it comes to diversity of any kind (except to evangelize them into the Kingdom of God through Jesus Christ). On the same posting, I wrote about how I, as an alum of the graduate school, decided over a year ago to remove myself from th...

I have to admit that I've been pleasantly surprised to see two local theaters putting on plays about race and racism. One was at Trinity Rep , which was a collection of one minute plays called Every 28 Hours although unfortunately only for one night (sheesh, is that all we get?) What wasn't a surprise were the abundant negative comments about the plays, and that about ten or so subscribers canceled their membership at the theater. The artistic director of Trinity Rep wrote an editorial to respond to the trollers and detractors. Another beloved theater institution, the Gamm , is tackling race and racism with the play The Rant , which, thankfully, is being performed for a month. I haven't read the comments but I'm sure they won't be much different than they were for Every 28 Hours. Despite all the negativity from some sectors in the community, I'm grateful that these two major playhouses are willing to address these important topics through the power of ...

I used to work at a college that often hosts conferences and lecture series with speakers for which all of them are usually White and if lucky, perhaps a woman. What is disconcerting about the most current one is that the topic is  moral and ethical leadership in American society . Without saying a word, what's conveyed is that people of color nor women are leaders for this kind of leadership. It stuns me to think that they could not find ONE person of color to address this topic especially in light of the history of the Black church in Civil Rights both past and present. It's also interesting (and sad) that they have a White woman addressing millenials when this generation is one of the most racially and ethnically diverse to this day. The truth is that this college has a pattern of choosing all white speakers and makes me wonder if this is actually intentional. Ignorance can only go so far. However, I can't limit my critique to a Christian liberal arts college. I must ...